Giveaways and micro knitting

Don't forget LadyShuttlemaker's Mondo Monday giveaway!

Also - go to Edward and Lilly for a chance to win one of these cool broaches!

I don't knit and crochet well. I can knit scarves and hats and I have a crocheted afghan in progress. But I really admire those who do it well, and artfully. This site is amazing.

Althea Crome makes the tiniest, most beautiful knitted items I've ever seen. She calls her knitting 'micro-knitting'. I'm stunned.

These are socks. And yes, those are her fingers behind them. She makes gloves too.

And just when you can't believe she can knit any smaller, she does. She makes clothes that the dolly's dolls would use. See? These are in Gallery 8 on her site.

Here's a bit on how she does it.

Makes tatting look positively humongous.

Sunday ephemera

Bits and pieces du jour:

We have tap water that we can drink now. Finally.

We saw an unfamiliar object in the sky today - a big ol' yella ball. Yup, old Sol himself, showing his face. It did NOT rain today.

Due to all the rain, we have a lot of these cropping up in everyone's yards. At least I don't have any inside of my house.

The children will be going back to school tomorrow, thank you, JEBUS! Those urchins are driving me crazy!

The entire west side of Atlanta (that's the flooded side, folks) has a particular odor to it. My friend E says it smells just like a giant, hairy, muddy, wet DOG. Ugh.

I suspect that Six Flags smells worse. It is just downstream (and just across I-20) from a major sewage treatment plant, which also flooded and has been dumping raw sewage into the Chattahoochee river. Want to visit Six Flags? I don't think so, not today. I pass this place on my daily commute. I make sure the windows are rolled up and the car vents are closed. Double Ugh.

Funny of the day:
I am not slim. I am porky. Not as porky as I used to be - I've lost about 60 lbs in the past year. But I'm still FAT. Because of my weight loss, I've gotten new clothes recently. Moe (my momma's boy) was trying to complement me on how good he thought I looked in a short sleeved shirt. He said, "Mom, you make that arm fat look good! I mean that!" And he really did.

And now I must settle into my tatting chair and work on finishing this *&% hanky. That, and watch Mad Men. Because I lurve Don Draper and I want to look like Joan.

Saturday update

Things are getting sorta back to normal here. As normal as they can, I guess, when the roads are washed out all over the place. Today we had more rain and are in another flood watch. Last year, we were in drought conditions and couldn't water the grass at all. This week my back yard looks like a scene from A River Runs Through It.

Some good news:

• My roof is fixed. Bob the Builder came out and climbed around the roof this morning with nails and a caulk gun. We lurve Bob the Builder.


• I got through a big church workshop this morning for Stephen Ministry where I was the registration coordinator. (Shoot me if I volunteer again. This wasn't bad, but I end up doing too much. I volunteer for stuff. Something must be wrong with me.) Yes, I am a real Stephen Minister, got the buttons and name badge and care receiver to prove it. It's a program I highly recommend. Anyhow, today's program was a big success and it's over.


• DH is back in town. He's been out a lot, spending most of the last month in Birmingham, AL. He's spent much of the day watching (what else?) football.


• My MIL continues to be at her home in Florida, not a resident of MY home.


• My mouth is recovering nicely from having the tooth pulled.


• And, I haven't killed Curly. The thought occurred to me again today when I went into his room. There is basically no floor visible, only clothes and crap. I had given Curly orders to change the sheet on his loft bed. When I looked at his bed, I saw he had only put sheets on the end of the bed, so that it would look good from the hall. Must have been hard to do. So why the hell didn't he do it right?
  

This is Curly's room. The kid from Zits is tidier.

I have GOT to get finished with this cursed hanky. The wedding is two weeks from today.

A test tat from an inspiration

Here's Vanilla Sky, a great new HDT done by TatsKool. She very generously sent me a skein of it to test tat. I've tatted it using Mary Konior's great Large Cross, from Tatting with Visual Patterns. This thread is size 40. Isn't it pretty? Lovely cream, pink, and purple.

And why did TatsKool send me gorgeous thread, free fer nuthin', for a test tat, you ask? Because last year, I sent her pictures from my beach vacation. We spent a week at Indian Rocks Beach, FL, and we had a blast. And this picture, taken by my little cell phone, was TatsKool's inspiration for the thread!




I'm delighted that TatsKool was so inspired. It was a wonderful place - the sunsets were awesome! Here's another sunset picture I took. I use this on my cell phone as the background.

And for an update on the soggy mess around my home - here's a newer video of the bridge near me. It'll be six months until it gets fixed.

Toodles!

I feel gleeful

I never thought I would be happy to go back to work, but I really was today. To get away from the urchins, mostly grumpy Curly. (That should be his name - Grumpy. Or Screamer. Arrgh.) The rain has stopped for a bit and I was able to make the passage over the river and through the woods.

So I went into work, went to a big meeting - and then I had to leave early to get a molar extracted by an oral surgeon. (Tooth #2 was unsalvagable and had a hooked root.) The dentist was quick and fairly painless; I was out of there in 40 minutes. And now I'm home and medicated. Curly is angry (and yelling) because I can't drive him some place, but he didn't let me know in advance about going elsewhere, so WTF? Too bad, so sad, Curly.

The oral surgeon just called me to see how I was doing. Wasn't that nice?

Last night the Stooges and I watched Glee. We all adore the show. The Stooges find it snortingly funny.

If you haven't seen this show, please acquaint yourself with it post haste. You can see all the episodes on Hulu. And you can read absolutely delightful write ups on this hilarious show on Television Without Pity.

Part of the fun of the show is Jane Lynch playing Sue the vicious cheerleading coach. OMG - she has the best lines and she delivers them straight! One of the best lines of the night is on Sue's new feature on the local TV news: "Yes. We. CANE." That's right, she advocates the use of caning. (Any of the show characters with a bit of smarts are appropriately horrified.)


I'm test tatting some thread for TatsKool of Tat's a Kool Challenge and I'll show it to you next post. But I'll leave you with this video.



Now I need to take some more drugs, man, drugs.

Rain update

Thanks so much for the concern and warm thought that came my way after my last post. We are fine here, just going a bit stir crazy at the moment. For us, this is an inconvienence, not a tragedy. I've been through much worse! But it's going to be a while before I can get into work. Our county alone has 150 road closings. Tons more throughout metro Atlanta.

Here are some pictures.

Above is an aerial view I-20, still closed. See the diagonal line in the water across the lower left corner of the picture? That's where the water is rushing over the median wall, going from westbound side to the eastbound side of the interstate. All lanes are under several feet of water that is rushing fast - that's waves up under the sign. I'm concerned that the road bed is washed out.

This is I-20 looking west at the Chattahoochee River. Six Flags over Atlanta is on your left. As you can see, the roller coasters are under water. More pictures are here (if you can get it to come up).

I'm home, trying not to kill the kids. And let me tell you, some of them need a killin'!

(I just checked - as I wrote this, TPTB opened I-20! So I can escape the kids tomorrow!)

Rain and flooding

We've had a bit of rain.

Maybe 21 inches in 24 hours.

We are a bit damp.

I am fine - my home is WAY above any flood plain. We have a minor roof leak. The county water is in bad shape - boil water advisory until things get fixed. Broken pipes everywhere. Kids out of school, roads washed out.

But we are fine.

Not everyone is so fortunate. Many have lost their homes. Some have lost their lives.

More than 50 roads in my county alone are washed out. The interstates are a mess. I-20 out my way is closed in both directions. Parts of I-285 are closed. Last night I-75/I-85 (the Downtown Connector) was also closed in both directions for a while. Took me a while to get home from work, was pretty scary.

Here is a bridge near my home that is out. This bridge affects me almost daily - it's the way I get to church, Target, the grocery store, the doctor, the mall, etc. The video is taken standing an a road that intersects the road our subdivision is on (which is less than a mile up to the right). It'll be months before this is fixed. Fortunately, I have alternatives for getting around.





There is more rain ahead.


Please keep those who have lost family or possessions in your prayers.

Giveaway

Don't forget about LadyShuttleMaker's Mondo Monday Giveway! She's giving away her tatting book, Royal Diadem!

Me, me, pick me!

Ten things that are deeply wrong with me

This meme is stolen from Jen (OMG you should see her knitting!), Blackbird, and Badger. I recommend them all.

1. I like Flannel Sheets. By this, I mean that I use flannel sheets on my bed all year round. DH does not object. I do this despite the fact that I live in Hotlanta. Air conditioning is a wonderful thing.

2. While we have a dog (and she really is a sweet dog), I don't like dogs. I hate dog lick. I hate doggy smells. I don't wish to own a dog ever ever again. Oddly, I don't mind watching the Westminster Kennel Club dog show and can identify most breeds. I will always have a cat though.

3. I don't like coffee. Really. Smells great, tastes nasty.

4. I like to turn up the volume on the music and sing harmony to everything when I'm in the car alone. Loudly.

5. I also don't like peaches, okra in any form (except fried), and raw tomatoes, except in salsa. Not sure why - it may be a texture thing. Okra is really slimy. Stewed tomatoes and okra makes me gag. The sole exception to this is if I am served a plate with any of these items at someone's home. Then I will politely eat one. Because my momma raised me to be a lady, and I don't wish to offend.

6. I will fart and fan the covers unabashedly in my own bed. And if it's stinky, I can't stop laughing. I shake the bed. This proves that I am not a lady, at least not where flatulence is concerned. My momma must be so ashamed.

7. Too much chocolate makes me fart. Mmmm, chocolate.

8. I am a news junkie. I scour many news sources every day. NY Times, CNN, Washington Post, my own crappy paper, TV sites, you name it. Gotta have it.

9. I like a good dirty or off-color joke. Fun is fun. I am known for my wicked sense of humor.

10. I think God must have had a great sense of humor. After all, He invented men, who have that weird fleshy appendage and not much sense.

In other news, my MIL went home today. Alive and undamaged. Thank you, Jeebus.

Dainty Heart

This is a dainty little heart that I designed a while ago. I thought some folks might enjoy it, and might like the pattern. It's really a beginner level item, nothing but chains and rings. But it's sweet and a quick tat.



This version is one I made for my niece. It's done in some of the HDT I got from Yarnplayer, Peach from her Peace colorways, in size 20. Cute, isn't it?

If you want the pattern, it's here in .pdf format.

On the home front, my MIL is still at our house. Larry has been to the doctor and gotten some medication for his woes. And I had to work from home today because Moe has pink eye and had to be taken to the doctor.

Curly is driving me crazy at the moment. I got called by the high school's vice principal yesterday about 2 offenses that Curly had incurred. One of Curly's offenses was having his cell phone taken up (for using it in class) for the 3rd time this school year. And since Curly had no phone, he screamed at DH and me this morning for a good 20 minutes, demanding that we retrieve his phone from the school office. (We declined.) Bubba later offered to hold Curly still while I smacked him around some, but I'm afraid the authorities might look badly at mt reaction. Those authorities might think it was justified if they had to spend much time with Curly. Does anyone out in in blogger land need a 17 year old boy child who's totally driven by his gonads and has hurt his thumbs because he sends too many text messages on his phone?

Worked on the infernal hanky last night. I'm determined to finish this week.

Fun with Stooges et al

So school's been in session for over a month (yes, this is what we do in the South - school starts WAY early) and I'm getting fun reports back from Curly and Moe's teachers. Neither is doing much as far as producing homework or participating in class. Happy happy, Joy joy. Neither kid can give me a good reason. So both are on semi-permanent restriction. And I'm told I'm so MEAN.

Curly was home sick yesterday. He had a fever and was feeling crappy, coughing and such, so I let him stay home. About 3 pm yesterday, I get a call from Curly. "Why is Grandma here?" he asked. I knew instantly that he wasn't talking my mother, but my MIL. Who had shown up unannounced. To stay for four days.

Mind you, my MIL doesn't live nearby. No, she lives in Florida, a good 365 miles away. So it's not like she just was in the neighborhood and meandered over. She knew well in advance that she would be here.

I called DH and asked him what he knew about his mother's presence. "Well, I told you she would be coming on Wednesday!" "But it's Tuesday." "Um - oh. I didn't know about this."

And my MIL has done this kind of shit before. Once when Larry was little, I was at work and on the phone with DH (who was home early), when he told me that someone was at the door. And there was his mother. The house was a total wreck, I had been working a zillion hours, and it was almost Christmas and the guest room was covered in Christmas Crap. I thought murder might happen. When I got home that night, I had to take a beer and nurse it for a while in my bedroom before I could deal with her.

Needless to say, I find showing up at someone's home - unannounced - with the intention of using that home as a hotel, to be incredibly RUDE.

But I digress.

Turns out said MIL is here to help my sister in law & her husband (Amy's parents). (Amy's parents live in a tiny, tiny house, with no guest room.) The husband - well, let's just say he has some major issues. And it's fine and noble and everything for my MIL to help them, but, dammit, couldn't she call?

So now the kids are totally stressed due to unexpected arrival of company. By the time I got home, Curly was grumpy and complaining and Moe was doing his best to ignore the fact he had homework and they were both picking at each other.

The Stooges are not all to fond of this grandparent. It's not that she's a bad person, but she has what DH refers to as a congenital defect - she cannot self edit anything she says. So whatever comes into her head pops out of her mouth - ugliness, not unlike toads or slugs. Or vomit. She will say ANYTHING and it can be very hurtful. (Plus, she talks through her nose.) (That was ugly of me. I'm sorry.) Teens are very sensitive and feel that life is all about THEM and any criticism they hear can be devastating, especially for someone with other issues, like depression or bi-polar disorder.

So I went through the evening and didn't drink (I don't, not that I have addiction issues, I just don't care to drink) and I didn't kill anyone. Which was pretty damn noble of me, don't you think?

Larry hid in the basement for most of the evening. After the MIL went to bed, he quietly confessed to me that he has been having panic attacks lately, and having his grandmother show up like this brought one on today. This was the first I'd heard about his panic attacks. Larry has some issues with depression. He's been on meds before, but he doesn't want to take them, and I haven't been able to get him to do much therapy. I told him he probably needed the meds, they would help him and not make him stupid or dopey, and usually the same thing for depression helps panic attacks. So he is looking at going to his physician this week. Whew. Maybe that issue will get better. Maybe.

On the work front, I found out yesterday that I will be required to do monthly reviews of my staff in the same format as we do annual reviews. Since annual reviews take an enormous amount of time, I'm sure I can fit those monthly ones in and do my job too. Sounds like fun, huh? In truth, this seems an incredible waste of time, and a gross form of micro-management by The Powers That Be. But that's life in a major recession working for a semi-governmental agency.

I want a GOOD day sometime this week.


Pray that I don't lose my little marbles. And I STILL haven't finished tatting that damn hanky!

A little venting

I love my mother, truly I do, but sometimes she makes me wack-o.

I spent 2 nights at her house last weekend, including the night of my birthday. She had a birthday cupcake waiting for me. It was a large chocolate cupcake, with lots of chocolate chips and chocolate chunks and gobs of chocolate frosting. And a candle. Because it was a Birthday Cupcake.

So I took it home, happily. Yesterday I sent her this email:

The cupcake you sent has been gobbled. I couldn't eat it in one or even two sessions, but now I've tossed it down my gullet and I'm
sooowiredforsoundWHEEEsugarsugarcaffinechocolateBOUNCEumWHEEEEwhyismyheadspinning?

Woo. I haven't had that much sugar in a year. No lie. But it was sho nuff GOOD

And this is what I got in response:

I sorta thought you might hand out some of those pieces of that tiny cake to the boys, as I was not trying to make more trouble for your non-shrinking weight numbers. But whatever, it's done now.

And then she lectured me on how to lose weight.

WTF, Mom? How do you divide a cupcake? That YOU bought and gave to me?

*sigh*

Tat Days 2009 loot

I was a bad girl at Tat Days vending. Last year I got lots of thread. This year, I got mostly the expensive stuff - books.

Here's what I came home with:



All the stuff in the top right corner plus the red Tat Days patch came in my goodie bag, a large reusable grocery bag which contained:

• Finca thread


• a magnifying glass


• beads


• a cute bag with circles on it to carry a current project in


• 2 great thread samples of Lizbeth thread


• a luggage tag with bug buttons


• a ladybug refrigerator note pad


• a metal box with magnets and small goodies, and a blue origami paper box

If you didn't know, the theme of this year's Tat Days was "I've been bitten by the Tatting Bug!" The bookmark was a freebie too.

On to my purchases. It's a good thing DH doesn't see my check book or my credit card statements.

I got:

• 2 balls of variegated Lizbeth thread, size 20. (Size 40 was there too.)


• 1 ball of Altin Basak variegated thread


• 4 plastic knitting bobbins, which I need to keep away from that bad cat Sylvia. She has ruined several of these. (They are the bomb for putting ball thread on.)


• 1 Skein of Yarnplayer's Vibrato HDT, size 20


• A darling decorated green Clover shuttle


• A CD of all the patterns at this Tat Days (not shown)

And I got books. This is where I was BAD. I got:

• Tatting Theory and Patterns by Jan Stawasz - this goes with my lovely gold shuttle he made!
  
• Tatted Fashion by Tieko Fujita


• Tatting by Pam Palmer


• DMC's color Tatting pamphlet


• An Italian Frivolite pamphlet


• And 2 books by Martha Ess - Tat's Amore and Tea is for Tatting. And I got Martha to sign each one!

Whew. Now I have to work to pay for my sins.

Bad Tat Days jokes

My buddy Bubba knew I went to Tat Days this weekend. So he called me and harrassed me with this exchange:

Bubba: Where did you go this weekend?

Me: I went to my tatting convention.

Bubba: Where was it?

Me: In South Carolina.

Bubba: How did you get there?

Me: I drove, of course.

Bubba: Why didn't you take the Tatting Shuttle? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

On another note, I told a bad joke at lunch on Saturday. The ladies at my table roared. So I'll share it with you - it's a letter.

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.

Now that I am in my fifties I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse . My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse!

I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, have to write to the Hefty bag people.

Back and forth from Mom's house

I didn't stay at the nice conference grounds for Tat Days - I stayed at Mom's house. And I brought her a little surcy.



This is a lovely watercolor ACEO I bought for Mom on Etsy.com from Victoria Usova. I love, love, love her work. I got a different ACEO for myself - amazingly, DH really likes it. (He's usually oblivious to such things.) ACEOs are a great way to have some nice art for a really reasonable price.

Mom's house has fun things in it. She has a great cat that I love, Honey. Honey is just as sweet as her name.

Mom is very politically active. We're all big Democrats, as you can tell by this on the side of her 'frig. And she lurves kitties.

Since Mom lives in NC apple country, I have to buy fresh apples while I'm there in the fall, some to share with friends, too. I bought a peck of Macintosh apples and a half bushel of Honey Crisp this time. MMMMM.

Saturday, I had to get up early to get to make the drive to Tat Days. Really early, since my first class started at 8:30, and Mom's place is a two hour drive away.

This is what the inside of Mom's house looks like at 5:30 in the morning. I wish I were joking - you can not see your hand in front of your face. This is what happens when you live out in the woods and there are no street lights. When I went out, it was very dark and misty. A lot of times, you driving through a cloud bank on the top of the mountain.

There was a lot of mist on the drive to Winnsboro, SC, where Tat Days is held. Winnsboro is way out there in God's country, way, way away from anything. Thirty miles down this winding road.

It was pretty on the drive, especially through the mist. Lots of hay had recently been baled.

Lots of farm lands. Gorgeous. I saw many critters, like cattle, goats, and horses. A doe ran across the road and flipped its white tail at me.

Some places had decorative gates. I saw one place (I wish I had a picture) with a table out under a big oak in front of the house, with containers sitting out on it. The hand lettered sign out front read "RED WORMS". Sometimes I wish I lived in the country, not in the 'burbs.

Country living has some real charms. But I'm a city girl. I drive a fuel-efficient hybrid instead of a pick-up, and I drive 30 miles one way to work.

My little car gets 42 miles to the gallon - and I have a lead foot!

I made it to Tat Days right on time......

more of Tat Days 2009

I took four classes at Tat Days.

The first class was with Martha. She is soooo sweet - and talented! (I'm sorry for the bad picture, Martha!) She's good at explaining things. We worked on an amulet bag shaped like a bee.

I didn't finish mine in class (no one did). I hadn't brought a size 16 crochet hook to add beads to the long picots, so I was behind. I bought one in vending. I'll finish this later - the bag is really cute.

The next class was with Sharren. She knows my uncle! We worked on a cute pattern to make a tatted edging for a frame. She also showed us how to use a mirror to create our own corners in patterns we design. Georgia was also in this class. If you've never met Georgia in person before, you're really missing something. She's so warm and loving, just a gem. And she drives a car with AKTATTER on the license plate!

Then I had a class with Jane. (Look in the bottom left corner of her picture - her purse is covered in tatting!) We made cute little critters using 3 shuttles, a new technique for me. I learned how to make Celtic picots too. Jane is such fun. At lunch, I sat at the table with Jane and another teacher, Vicki. We laughed a lot. Jane told us about winning at Corn Hole. One of the items that Jane was wearing on her name tag was a gift from Martha. Martha had tatted her a brain cell to replace her missing 3rd one. It looked like a large synapse and was beaded - hee!

After lunch, I took a class with Nina. I took one of her classes last year, and loved it, but I had a harder time with her techniques. Now I'm better and I came closer to finishing the project in class. We were making a heavily beaded necklace - oh so beautiful. I may wear it to my brother's wedding.

Nina liked one of my shuttles (the gold one here) very much, saying how good it was for her kind of tatting. This shuttle is one I got last year and is made by Jan Stawasz. Nina's work is simply incredible, looks just like fabulous stuff made of gems and gold when finished.

There were lots of things available in Vending which we looked at between classes. Many books, TONS of thread, and almost anything a tatter could want. Except extra time - and money! I spent way too much here....

More later...

A quickie on Tat Days

I had a good time.

I worked on one project.


And another.

Queen Jane was there.

So was Georgia.

And lots of things were available to buy. So much thread.

I didn't spend the night there, so I missed the banquet and some other things.

Instead, I stayed with Mom. Because she's my Mom. And I need to spend time with her.

As a bonus, she has this view. Do you blame me for going?

More to come....

Today

Heading out to Tat Days!

Happy Birthday to ME!

Prepping for Tat Days

I'm getting ready for Palmetto Tat Days. I went last year and had a great time. I won't be staying there - will be staying up the hill with Mom. Plus Friday is my birthday, and there's nothing like Mom's cooking as a birthday present. The Stooges will be staying home with DH. Woo-hoo! Freedom!

A bit of what I've done recently - I tatted this Mary Konior cross and gave it to my neighbor, who is very ill. Martha just tatted this in white. Her cross is gorgeous. The outside of my cross is Lizbeth Navy, size 20. The inside is done in HDT, LadyShuttleMaker's Fuschia, size 20.


And speaking of LadyShuttleMaker - check out her giveaway! Worth a look - you might win. I want to win! I'm addicted to HDT.

So I'm prepping for Palmetto Tat Days, and I've gotta work too. Last night I was dialed into my office, hunched over an ugly report and some spreadsheets - my favorite! (Not.) But I made sure I took time out to watch Glee! Larry and I chortled the whole hour. For this old musical theater buff, it was so much fun! Plus, it's hilarious and sarcastic. Jane Lynch plays this wonderfully horrible character, the obsessed cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester. Here are my favorite quotes from last night:

Sue, giving bad advice to Will Schuester about his glee club (she hates the glee club)," You do with your depressing little group of kids what I did to my wealthy elderly mother: euthanize it."

Later - Quinn the cheerleader tells her Celibacy Club, while they practice intimacy with a balloon between couples, “Now remember: if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.”

OMG OMG too funny. Watch it online if you missed it.

Soooo.....

I've got to get packing! Can't wait for Tat Days! But first, a look at what I got last year in Tat Days vending. (It's a good thing DH and I have separate checking accounts.)

Hope to see you there!

Another take on life in blogland

Recently, a blogger mom, who had been a sort of heroine to other moms through maintaining her fun pre-baby ways, gave up her drinking habit. She realized that it was bad for her and her family. I don't care if someone drinks - I ain't again' it - but some folks do imbibe a bit more that is good for them. The New York Times wrote a big piece about the author of BabyOnBored here.

Sooooo.... (where is she going with this, you may ask?)

I was reading my New Yorker and just fell out laughing at their current Shouts and Murmurs column, "Easy Cocktails from the Cursing Mommy". So I thought I'd share. And here it is.

Where's my F'ing martini glass? Moe, put that down!

Crazy tatting tip du jour

Here's my favorite tatting tip - hiding thread ends using a variation on the Magic Thread Trick.

Lots of folks have shown you how to do the Magic Thread Trick (MTT). It's the best thing since sliced bread. But my version is even better, I promise!

Here's my secret: I don't use thread at all for this - I use Floss Threaders! A floss threader can be used over and over again, and it's a cinch to tat over, because it's stiff. (Thread is floppy.) Plus, they come in this nifty little container and they're CHEAP. You can buy them at the drug store, about 25 in a package.





When tatting a ring using floss threaders, always skip the half of the double stitch that's next to the close of the ring. When I'm starting a project & using a floss threader for MTT, I start the ring with a regular half stitch, than tat over the floss threader for the second half. If I need the MTT to come out on the back end of the ring, just don't tat over the second half of the last double stitch. the one that finished the ring. Here I'm starting a ring - I slip the tail into the second half of the double stitch.





And continue tatting over the floss threader's tail.....





Until I'm at least 5 DS in. I usually stop tatting over the floss threader at a picot. Then finish the ring...

And pull tight. Pull the floss threader's tail so that just a bit of the loop sticks out, about 1/2 inch. (I need to pull the tail in a bit here.) Make sure the loop sticks out the bottom of the ring!

Leave the floss threader in. When you are almost finished tatting your project, put a floss threader in your last ring or chain and finish. (FYI - for a chain, don't skip the half stitch, just do all DS.) Then knot the thread ends together, and put each thread end into one of the floss threader's loops. Then pull out the threader and trim the thread ends. Voila - you're done! Cool, huh?

I reuse my floss threaders over and over. You can use floss threaders for other things too. Yarnplayer has a great tutorial on adding beads with them.

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