I have finished days 5 and 6 of Jane's TIAS. Here's what I've got so far:
On the home front.....
Curly recently told me that his New Year's resolution was to give up drugs and alcohol. (Yes, I know. Ugh.) And we went got the results from a drug test that was run over the holiday - positive for marijuana (which we knew about), negative for everything else. This was a test run by a lab, not one of those tests you buy at the store, so I'm confident and very pleased with the results.
A bit of background info here. While my side has mental health issues going back to the 1850's (I'm serious), DH's side of the family has chemical dependancy issues. His brother is a recovering alcoholic and now twenty years sober. But I saw him when he was drinking and it wasn't pretty. DH's maternal grandmother was an active alcoholic until she died. She once came to our house and drank everything we had. His maternal aunt was a herion addict in the 70's, and I'm told that his paternal grandfather was an alcoholic.
So my children are definitely at risk for chemical dependancy. I've tried to be really up front about this with them, pulling them aside to tell them of their family history and how vulnerable it makes them. That they need to be extra careful if they drink, beacuase for them it's going to be very easy to go down that road to addiction.
I really don't drink. I don't have anything against it, I'm just not interested. I had a glass of wine with my Thanksgiving dinner and that's the only thing I've had in over a year. I'm fine with wine with a meal, or a glass or two here and there, or a beer or whatever. DH drinks socially, mostly with his friend Bubba, who comes over some after work. (Bubba is not happy at home, and tries to get home LATE.) My family has always had wine with meals. So I'm ok with alcohol, I'm just not interested enough to drink much myself.
Saturday in the car, Curly confessed to me (he brought it up) that before New Year, he had been drinking every other day for some long time. Curly is 17, way to young to legally buy anything. I asked him how he got it, and he wouldn't tell me. (All of our liquor is in a locked box in DH's office, also locked.) I suspect he gets it from various buddies, mostly from his neighborhood buddy T. T and Curly got into legal trouble with alcohol their sophomore year in high school, and I know T has a drinking problem. His parents are in denial of this.
So Curly tells me about this and I freeze. I'm trying to be non-reactive, the thing I've found works best when he's confessing these things. I want him to feel free to tell me what's going on with him so I have to be flat in my reactions. But inside I was panicking and saying OMG OMG OMG OMG! I try and gently get more information, where does he get the alcohol. He doesn't give me much. What he says is that he hasn't had anything to drink in three & a half weeks and he's really proud of himself. So I say I'm proud of him too. (Inside: OMG OMG OMG!) And the conversation trickles off.
So prayers are needed that Curly can resist this and maintain. We recently added another type of SSRI medicine to his daily mix, and I'm hoping it will help him. And I don't want to over react. It's important that he feels like he can talk to me, so I can help him. He doesn't talk to DH this way at all. I just pray for continued strength and wisdom for both of us. But this really frightens me.
Now - baby pictures!
Babies are so sweet. They feel and smell so good! And I'm glad to hand them back to their parents. Benn there, done that, can't get rid of them!
Funny story with this baby and her parents. Mom has offered to come and help immediately - my brother lives in Boston. She came when my kids were born and she was GREAT - did everything needed, not intrusive, wonderful, a godsend. But my brother and his wife are being stupid. (FYI - her mother is dead and she has no family here.) They don't want Mom to come until about a week after they get home from the hospital. And this after an emergency c-section! They claim they have their "own local resources to help". HA! When I told my Sunday School class about this, everyone fell over laughing. They'll be sorry......