Friday, April 2, 2010

It's Easter weekend

Easter is Sunday, and I haven't gotten a thing.  No Easter candy, no chocolate bunnies or jelly beans, no dye for eggs.  I do have a ham in the freezer.  That's something, I suppose.  Cause I lurve ham....

We don't know where Curly is.  He says (via text message, on a phone we don't control) that he's staying with someone from another church, but no one I've talked to over there knows anything about him.  I'm not sleeping well as a result.  I try not to let it bother me, but I'm his mother - I really worry.

I just canceled his appointment with his psychiatrist for this afternoon, and left a message telling the doctor he had run off and was off his meds.

Text messages between me and Curly:
Me:     Who r u staying with
Curly:  Im in russia
*sigh*

In other news, it's now quiet and MUCH tidier chez Crazy.  (Curly makes most of the mess.)  Next week is spring break for Moe (and Curly), and I'm taking a couple of days off too.  My plans are two-fold.  My first priority is sleep, rest, and unwind.  Second is to clean up the horrid mess in Curly's room and move his belongings out of it and into a smaller bedroom.  I'd like to do something with Moe too - maybe we'll go into Atlanta. 

I had originally hoped to go spend some time up in the mountains at Mom's place.  But that was derailed when I found Mom was leaving today to visit my brother and see the new grandchild get baptized.  Which is great, and I'm glad she can go.  Unfortunately, I heard how long she's going - three weeks this time.  (She stayed 5 weeks when the baby was born.)  I can count on one hand the number of nights Mom has spent under my roof since I moved out from under hers.  She visits all of my sibs frequently - but not me.  Even when Moe was born, and I has 2 other kids and a c-section to recover from, she stayed an hour away at my sister's house.

The green monster of jealousy comes out when I hear about Mom visitng a sibling of mine yet again.  I don't begrudge my siblings.  After all, my brother has a perfect right to have his mother there when his only child is baptized - and she should be there. I shouldn't be jealous, but I am.  I get very upset about this.  It shouldn't bother me - after all, I'm 52 and a grown woman with my own family, and I shouldn't get caught up in stupid petty things like why does my mother treat me like some worthless piece of shit black sheep.  But inside all of us is a little kid who'd like their mama to pay some attention to them.  Mom says all the right words, she's orally very supportive of me and all that's happening.  But actions speak very, very loudly. And I'm hurt.

Now I'm going to wipe my face and pull up my big-girl panties and go on.  I am, after all, a genuine grown up.

And Spring is out in force.

My hostas are coming up.  I have hostas everywhere.  They're my kind of vegetation - the kind I plant once and never have to think about again.

And tulips are now blooming - most of the daffodils are done.  (Love the blue flower - heh.)  No sign of azaleas - they should be popping out any minute though.  The dogwoods are about to bloom too.

Now I need to go get Easter stuff .  I've promised Larry to get him a copy of The Fabulous Mr. Fox, and I'm a woman of my word.

7 comments:

  1. I read your blog, but I rarely comment. Sorry, I'm not always good with words, but I just wanted to say . . .

    *hugs*

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  2. Keep your chin up because every family has those same issues. I know mine did. Mom died a year ago so I do not have that issue anymore but it did hurt years ago. Have a Great Easter.

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  3. Of course your feelings are hurt!!! I wonder if your mom realizes that she slights you?
    I just realized that you are a Presbyterian. Me too.
    I'm still praying for you, Moe, Curly, and your husband.

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  4. 分享的朋友,在精不在多,分享的幸福就在下一秒 ..................................................

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  5. I really sympathise about Curly, and about the pain of the mother/daughter relationship...
    I do hope that things can improve.
    Have you tried talking to your mother, in a calm, non accusing way, about how her behaviour makes you feel. It may be that she hasn't been helpful because she totally misunderstands you, and is thinking that you don't want her to interfere...just a thought.

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  6. Happy Easter--from one disenfranchised daughter to another.

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  7. Happy Easter! You won my giveaway! I believe you may already have my email address so be sure to email me with your snail mail addy so I can send you your "Learn to Tat" book! Congratulations! (((Hugs))) too!

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