Also - conversation with Larry:
Larry: Hey Mom - where is the wrapping paper? I have something to send my friend K. She's sad and I wanted to cheer her up.
Me: It's in my alcove closet. What are you sending her?
Larry: A bunch of My Little Ponies. She collects them. I thought I'd put them in the mail and surprise her, cheer her up. I got five of them.
Me: That's sweet.
Larry: Yeah, she loves My Little Pony. She also loves this guy in a band, but I can't capture him and mail him. It would be wrong and probably illegal.
People born in this country who cannot use proper English. I overheard this conversation (and many others like it) on the train:
Random girl: What you talkin' bout? He be going wit her. Dis wut I mean. She a bitch.
What offends me about this is not dropping of consonants, but the lack of verbs and the incorrect verbs. I'm offended by the pejorative use of the word bitch, but I can live with that. The verb problem drives me bananas.
Here is the corrected sentence:
Not quite as bad. Perhaps I should offer my services to those in need.
Or...... maybe not. This might not endear me to the general population of Hotlanta train riders.
I also can't tolerate improper use of the possesive and improper use of the apostrophe. Or leaving out the apostrophe in contractions. These are like fingernail on a chalk board to me. As is the improper use of whom.
Years ago, I got ABC News to change their Friday night news teaser on the person of the week. The TV screen showed the outline of a head with the words "Whom will ABC choose?", which is incorrect. 'Who' is correct there, not 'Whom'. I called my local ABC affiliate and worked my way up the food chain. I finally got to Roone Arledge's office (he was head of ABC News at the time) where I expressed my displeasure at the language choice and told why I was offended. Are you a teacher, they asked. No, just someone with a basic education. And the next Friday it was changed. Ha! Really, it's a true story.
Damn. Now I need to work. Why can't I win the lottery? Maybe I should invest in some tickets....