Saturday, September 25, 2010


Tomorrow, Curly is moving out.

Curly is leaving because we can no longer handle his behavior and the effect he has on the household. As you know, he is bi-polar and very ADHD. He steals from all of us. He lies. He is hyper-sexual. He refuses to see any of his doctors or take his medicine.

Curly makes lots of excuses for his actions.
  • "I didn't know."
  • "I didn't mean to."
  • "I just borrowed it."
  • "I forgot."
  • "My bad." (This said in a sing-song, toss-off way. Grr.)
  • "I wouldn't MEAN to have a wreck."
  • "Can I have some money?" (This after all my money has been stolen from my purse.)
  • "I thought __ wasn't using it."
He does know, and he was brought up better than this.

This week, Curly did something to a relative of DH's which we cannot live with. It involved a sizable amount of money being removed from a bank account in a way that was just barely legal, and most certainly wrong. We can't live with his actions any more, and have told him to leave. Curly has also forfeited several thousand dollars that this relative was going to give him for college. Moe will now get that money.

Curly is going to a college town about 1.5 hours from here, moving into a duplex with the brother of a friend of his. He will continue to work at the same place with our neighbor Bubba, so we should have regular news of Curly. His job is roughly midway between our home and where he is moving.

It's very hard to tell your 18 year old child that he can no longer live with you. But we have done all we can, and we feel this is the right and only thing to do for him now. He needs to be responsible for his actions. He needs to grow up.

I hope he will be safe. I hope he will be able to manage. I hope, I hope.

But it makes me so very sad. I am afraid for my precious darling boy.

It's in God's hands now.  Please Curly, listen and learn.

I hope he grows up.


  1. I'm awfully sorry and hope this works out for all of you.

  2. I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this...I know it is painful because my BFF is doing the same thing with her 18 yr. old. He steals and lies, and the last straw was stealing $5000 worth of her jewelry and selling for $200 to buy pot. Can't get a decent job because he can't pass a drug test. Added to all that, everything she does is scrutinized because her evil ex is constantly suing her for full custody of their 9 year old. It's a hard situation to be in, and there's no easy answer on what to do.

  3. All of your family, including Curly, are in my prayers. May you all be safe.

  4. A horrible situation to deal with; it's called "tough love" and sometimes it's the only way. Other family members have to be considered as well as the troubled one.
    Curly, being now over 18, is adult, and ultimately has to be accountable for his own actions - you have done all you can, but it's going to be so hard for you to let him go.

  5. Don't you worry,'re a really GOOD Mom. Curly knows that if something terrible he loses his job or can't live with this other boy...he still does have a home. He'll just have to knuckle under and live by the rules...this might be the very best thing for him.
    I will keep you all in my thoughts...God Bless you all...

  6. oh I'm so sorry. This has to be the hardest thing in the world to do. We parents have to make rough decisions, but sometimes, actually most of the time, the hardest things we do turn out to be the best for our children. Yes, he's 18, but inside your heart he'll always be your baby. I can read the frustration and heartbreak you must feel.

  7. you and your family continue to be in my prayers

  8. I'm living it as well. Two perfectly normal boys and one lunatic. It's horribly sad and difficult. My oldest is 27 now and we've been dealing with this since he was 16 or so. Yeah. It's hard. It doesn't get easier and no one knows how much everyone in your family suffers as a result of his illness.

    I'll keep Curly and your precious family in my prayers. I understand and cry with you.


  9. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. At some point we can't tell them how to live anymore.
    I hope this won't be a permanent rift and someday he'll see how much he needs to be with family.