Overheard this morning while DH was having a fit, as none of the Stooges would own up to making any of the many messes he found.
DH: No one ever is the one who makes the mess! Who does this? Is it elves? That's it, it's always elves who make the messes! I tell you what, if you ever see any elves, just kill 'em! Bastards!
DH: I know what I can do, I'll just make some damn elf traps. Otherwise we'll be overrun in filth. Damn elves.