Curly is gone

It's been a while since I have posted. Much has happened.

Some good. I'll tell about that later.

But mostly the worst kind of thing.

My son Curly is dead. 

You remember my Stooges - Larry, Curly, and Moe. Larry is almost 37 now. Moe is 28. 

And Curly didn't quite make it to his 33rd birthday.

He died at the end of March this year. 

If you'll recall, Curly was diagnosed with a mental illness when he was 13, very young. He had trouble dealing with the diagnosis of bipolar II and did not believe it. He eventually believed that he was simply depressed, and would take some meds for that. But he refused to take proper medication for bipolar II.

Curly in 3rd grade

 

Many people who are mentally ill and unsuccessfully medicated turn to some substance for self medication to soothe their minds. I’m not sure when Curly started doing this, but I know he was doing it over 10 years ago. I think it started with pain medication that was prescribed for some real issue, and then he got hooked. Oxycontin is not always readily available on the street, so his addiction morphed into heroin. He hid it for a long time. Eventually he became completely ensnared by that drug. 

Before modern medicine, people with mental illness were considered to be possessed by a demon – there is real truth in that. His family and I did everything we could to help him counteract these demons. Psychiatry, therapy, visits to mental institutions, financial support. Then he needed detox and rehab. At one point he was homeless. He really, really suffered from those demons. He went through 3 rounds of rehab. He needed more, but his insurance would only pay for 3 months at a time, and then he was on his own. It wasn’t enough.

But the demon that is heroin eventually came roaring back, and it was that demon that killed him. Curly died of an accidental drug overdose.

The night before he died, Curly called me (as he often did) and we had a long talk. I was frequently his confident. That night he talked about wanting a family of his own. “I think I’d be a good dad,” he told me. He talked about his faith and reading the Bible and how much prayer helped him. He talked about his job frustrations. He talked about his girlfriend, who was taking a break from the relationship as she sensed something (drugs) was going on. And we ended the conversation as we always did, by telling each other I love you.

I’m so glad we ended that way. It was a gift.

Now Curly is no longer suffering from those demons. He is no longer in pain. He is in the arms of Jesus.

I am ok. You don't expect to outlive your children, but I am one tough cookie.

I've had help. And I am grateful for the help.

And I am grateful for Curly. He was handsome and smart and fun and funny and talented - and he always loved his mama really hard. 

Curly and me

 

Moving time!

I am prepping to move into my new-to-me condo on  Thursday of this week. I'm a touch busy.

The carpet was laid in the bedrooms last Monday. I got the thickest pad I could, so the footing there feels lovely and squishy.

This is but a nightmare of a memory now

The electrician came last Wednesday to install many light fixtures and remove a) that aesthetic horror of a fan in my bedroom (see above) and b) lots of my money.

See how nice my kitchen looks now? I added pendants and under cabinet lighting, plus I replaced DREADFUL track lighting with something more discrete.

At home, I'm packing things and deciding what I can truly live without until after the move, like hair curlers and spices. And drinking glasses. Also what is all this shit in my freezer? Who knows?

So I'm trying NOT to buy anything that I absolutely can't live without, mostly food. Cat food is an essential item - the cats do not like to wait. Lucy meows at me piteously in the morning like she is STARVING and then I go down and find her bowl is half full and I'm without real sympathy. Bitch that I am.

Lucy - I do not feel sorry for her

There really are some weird things in my refrigerator/freezer. Why did I buy that prosciutto and cheese log? And all these eggs? Why do I have 4 different kinds of mustard? And frozen fried cheese ravioli - why? Goat cheese with cranberries on it?

There seems to be a cheese theme here.

I also have lots of frozen veggies with cheese sauce. Cheese and broccoli - yum. But I also have like 4 individual 1 lb. packages of frozen ground beef, uncooked. What the hell? And packages of Hot Pockets. I've never eaten Hot Pockets in my life. These must be Moe's - they need to go to his house.

I think hoarding all this stuff goes back to the days of having All The Stooges in the house, as They Ate Everything. So I had to Be Prepared. Even now they show up at my house and stand in front of the open refrigerator, noshing on whatever is there.

St Paul's Cathedral from One Change Place

Oh, I forgot to show pictures from my recent visit across the pond! I was in London on business, and made a side trip to visit an Old Git!

Recognize anyone? Recognize the decoration on her blouse? (This is in her own garden.)

Jane was kind enough to take me to Anne Hathaway's cottage, which is SO beautiful. No, not the actress - Shakespeare's wife.

The cottage is quite lovely, especially the gardens. Really grand to be there. I got in a nice visit with Nick as well, and Tilly allowed me to pet her. I felt honored.

But now I must get back to The Horror of Packing. And someday, perhaps even this month, I will tat again....
 

What's that Crazy Mom been up to?

I'll bet you thought I just gave up the ghost. No, I've been busy.

I've been VERY busy at work. Lots of things to do, but I like it a lot. We are moving to a different floor in the building - below is my view from my office. Note that I said office - I won't be in a cube - hurrah!

I've been dating a bit. On and off. Mostly off. Mostly guys I'm not interested in - and then there was that guy who as soon as he met me, he kissed me stuck his freakin' tongue down my freakin' throat. EWWWWW!!! No second date with that one. Yuck.

I've been dealing with the Stooges.

Larry has had some very serious health issues that required 2 hospitalizations - and he has no health insurance. I flew down to FL to be with him during the first - and scariest - of the hospital visits. And now he has no job, so we moved him back up to Hotlanta to live with his brothers. He's going to be ok, needs to get a job and concentrate on getting better.

Moe has graduated from high school!  DH The Ex and I saw him do it and were very happy to have the youngest done. As to what he will do now - I have no idea. He has not applied to a single college. SOOOO frustrating. Get a job Moe! Go to college!

 

Curly - remember my frustrations with Curly? Cross your fingers, the worst of that seems over! Curly is working selling mobile phones and plans for a big company, does a great job for them, they want him to be store manager soon. He's taking his meds! He's got a girlfriend with personality and ambition! He seems grateful for things I've done for him! He calls me up and tells me he loves me!

All the Stooges are now out of my house. They have moved in with DH The Ex, who lives nearby in a nice brick ranch with a big yard. DH The Ex volunteered to do have them all. We are on good terms - of course, he wants me back big time. That ain't happening.

I've tatted a little tiny bit. Here's something I made for one of the guys I've been going out with.

And I'm teaching again at Tat Days - I'm doing 2 of Nina's gorgeous patterns.

I've had my own share of health issues - no worries, I'm fine! But I had a stay in the hospital too, had cellulitis. I had my laptop with me and worked the entire time, 'cause that's what I do. (And why my company loves me...) And I had this lovely view:

This is not abstract art - it was a lovely view of the hospital roof

I'm better. Really I am. I was annoyed to have to be there.

However - one of the biggest things that I've been doing is finding new housing - for me, not the Stooges, just me and the cats. And I've found a place.

A condo just for ME!!!!

In this complex.Yes, this is the view from the 2nd bedroom.

With this view at night from my balcony.

This is the daytime view from a different angle - you can see the Hotlanta skyscrapers.

The condo is in a part of Hotlanta that's its own little city, considered one of the top 10 most walkable urban areas in the country. More than 40 restaurants within walking distance. Seven miles to my office. A block to the subway. It's safe. It's artsy. It's hip. It's not in the cultural desert that I've been living in. And no real maintenance. I'll close on it very soon - and I'll have it totally paid off by the time I retire. Woo-hoo!!!!

Oh - and I'm heading to London Monday on business - I have to hire a new staff member in that office. Across the pond I go!

And that Saturday - I'll see Jane!!

And then This Happened...

I was going to tempt you with some tatting I've been designing...

Or tell you about the lovely gift I got from Wendy...



Lovely tatting! So pretty!

Or even tell you about the terrific place I went on a business trip, staying at the Biltmore Estate..



My room at the Inn on Biltmore Estate

But then this happened.

 

And if you're wondering - yes, that's my house. On fire.

 

Here it is now.

It's a total loss. Nothing is left. The house had been almost 3000 sq ft, plus a full basement. And lots of stuff in it.

 

But there were good things.

 

First - no one was home. This happened Friday morning, I got the call about 9:45 am. I was at work, DH was out of town, Larry lives in Florida now (he's really upset but is ok), Curly was at work, and Moe was at school. So no one was in the house, and we are all safe.

 

And we have insurance to cover us. The insurance company is putting us up in a hotel, has given us a decent advance on expenses, and is finding a house for us to rent while we are out of our home.

 

Plus all my friends, family, neighbors, and church family have jumped in to help, bringing money and gift cards and food and clothes and we have many offers of furniture and appliances for us. Folks are falling all over themselves to help us.

 

And my employer is being so great and supportive during this. My boss's boss insisted on following me home to make sure I was ok, and told me not to worry about work until I got things situated.

 

So, in many ways we are so very lucky.

 

But we lost all the pets.

 

It was 11 degrees F (-11.5 C) that morning, and we had all the animals inside. We are responsible pet owners. But now all our pets are gone.

 

 

My Cisco.

 

 

Mr. Vader.

 

 

My beautiful Lily.

 

Plus the dogs - Rocket and Abby,

 

and Curly's kitten Daisy.

The boys are sad. I'm sad. But we have to comfort ourselves knowing that the smoke probably got to them, and they just went to sleep. They didn't suffer.

They were darling pets. They will be missed beyond words.

We will be ok. God made me a tough lady who keeps her head in emergencies. Do not stress over me. We are being cared for. We will be made whole again.

We will be ok. Really we will.

I needed new flooring in my kitchen. Guess I'll get it now, huh?


PS I've already bought two shuttles and some Lizbeth. You can't keep a good tatter down!

Current doin's at Chez Crazy

I was so jazzed about my visit with Jimmy that I forgot my dental appointment on Monday morning. I remembered when the phone rang as I pulled into my office parking lot, a half hour after the appointment. (I'm rescheduled for Thursday morning. It's a replacement crown. Ugh.)

I'm tatting a cross as a thank you present for the former Prez. I spoke to Miss Jan, and she's going to get it to him. This is my own Simple Cross pattern, done in Tuscany HDT by Lady Shuttlemaker.

Moe is at a Boy Scout Camp for the week with his troop. It's his favorite thing to do - he looks forward to it all summer. I'll pick him up on Saturday.

Curly has waxed his eyebrows. No, I don't know why. It's best if I don't ask such things.

Larry, AKA the slug who lives in my basement, is turning into the world's biggest grump. And he's not  cooperative in doing his chores. "I hate cleaning up other people's messes!" he grumped to me on the phone. "I wiped your bottom for years," I replied. "Yeah, but you signed up for that - I didn't!"

I hung up on him and wouldn't take his calls for some time. Perhaps it's time that Larry found another basement to live in - and grow up. (He is healing, BTW.)

Vader has been enjoying my suitcase, now empty from my last week's trip.

Easy times

I've been tatting away at things.

I just finished up a cross bookmark for a friend at church. It's my go-to cross pattern, Mary Konior's Large Cross, in Lizbeth Spring Garden size 20.

 It's been a quiet weekend for us at Chez Crazy, and I'm grateful. No trips to the ER or the doctor, no crises to manage. The Stooges are fine, and DH is fine. So I got a bit of sleep and rest.

 Hanging out with my peeps. (Aren't these cute? They're each about 4" high, and squishy - and not edible.)

Vader has been relaxing. This is his favorite position - front one way, back twisted another.

I've gotten a lot done on my resume, or CV. I had to eliminate a number of years - I've been in my field for a long time, and I don't want to look too old!

And now I'm relaxing with another bit of tatting. My oldest niece is graduating from college in two weeks, so I'm making an earrings and bracelet set for her. The bracelet is in my own pattern that I showed you recently, and this one is in black thread with some square turquoise beads with little silver accent beads. I'll show you when I'm done.


This is the coolest video about a nine year old kid who got really inventive. Enjoy!
 

A senior moment and some Dick

Christmas is done, thank heavens.

The Stooges, DH and I all had a good Christmas. The boys seemed very happy with their gifts, and I got more presents than I expected. There was no fighting, no biting. What more can a mom ask for?

The cats enjoyed the mess, although Sophie was a bit confused. She's been enjoying having people at home to use as furniture. Vader of course knew immediately the best thing to do with such a mess.

I fixed a delicious turkey with all the fixings, including yummy dressing and giblet gravy. Mmmm

I did some tatting. These are some earrings for Mom (she used to keep bees).

I also crocheted some toys, catnip balls for the cats of my siblings and for Mom. We all have at least one cat - we know what's good! (Vader almost didn't let me wrap these. He found some and slobbered on them.)

The next day, we visited family. My sister in Charleston came with her family, and we all met at other sister's home (the one who lives across town). Mom came too. We had a lovely dinner and exchanged presents. Cats were admired. (Here, DH is petting their top cat Sasha. She rules the roost.) Mom loved her earrings. And the cat toys were appreciated, as was the homemade fudge and spiced almonds that I gave.

Mom then gave me this little item, which puzzled me. Canned English custard? She explained that it originally came from my Uncle Kent, a lovely English chap who is married to my dad's sister. Kent was one of the children shipped to the English countryside during the bombing of London in WWII. At this year's Christmas gathering, Kent gifted everyone with the above custard and...

Yes, Spotted Dick. Mom passed this along to me as she thought I would be the only one who would appreciate this. And she was right. It is more of a novelty item for us, and remains unopened.

I asked the Stooges if they wanted to eat some Spotted Dick. They all blanched and giggled. Larry allowed how it sounded like something with perhaps a disease. Oh my.

The next day my Charleston sister and her family wanted to see some sites in Hotlanta, so we went to the King Center. Our father was a big local advocate for the Civil Rights movement, so this means a good deal to us.

And while there I chanced on this sign. I couldn't resist. Mom offered to stand by it, but I just couldn't do that to her. It was bloody cold, so we didn't stay long to admire the sign.

So a good Christmas was had by all. We did miss Festivus though. I mentioned this to DH as I was getting in bed the night of Festivus. I had meant to cover our broom handle in aluminum foil and let us dance about it, and have some arm wrestling (a feat of strength). I told DH that airing of grievances was part of of Festivus; did he have any grievances that he wished to air? "Yeah, I will when you can stop talking," he replied.

And so it goes.