In which I take a stand

Things are somewhat different here at chez Crazy.  We are short one person.  Curly is not in residence.  And won't be for sometime - I don't know how long.  It is up to Curly

No, he's not in the pokey.  And he didn't exactly run away.  But he is not welcome here at the moment.

Curly's behavior has gone from bad to worse to intolerable.  He steals from every member of the household, and he has now started appearing with expensive merchandise and no possible way he could have paid for it.  He flaunts the house rules.  He's trying to break the rules at his school and get kicked out.  His behavior is very, very self destructive.

Curly has been diagnosed as being bipolar and he is strongly ADHD, but I think it is more than that.  I think he has borderline personality disorder.  His psychiatrist wants to have Curly's diagnosis re-evaluated too.

Thursday, I emailed Curly's psychologist about what was going on.  The psychologist called me (when Curly missed his appointment) and strongly recommended that Curly be hospitalized.  This is not the first time this recommendation has been made, and I've wanted to put him in a psychiatric facility for a while for inpatient therapy.  Curly's psychiatrist has made this recommendation too.  But this time DH agreed with the psychologist.

So I packed a bag for Curly and got his medicines.  I picked up his favorite fast food meal and went to pick him up from night school.  My intent was to take him directly to the psych facility.  The hospital is about 20 miles away.

Unfortunately, we didn't make it.  Curly asked me what was going on, and I told him (after some fudging) that his psychologist had recommended he be hospitalized and that's where we were going.  There was a small explosion in the back of the car (I had turned on the child-proof locks so he couldn't bolt that way).  Then I had to slow down for a red light - and he climbed over the front seat and went out the passenger door.  And he was gone into the night.

We haven't seen him since.

I called the cops, but there's not much they can do since he'll  be 18 in two months.  Curly started texting me almost immediately, saying he wouldn't go to the psych place.  He's been there before.  And it's a good and helpful facility. But he sees it as jail..

Both DH and I have let Curly know that he cannot live at home until he spends time in the hospital and gets treatment.  He must change in a substantial way.  And we mean this - we changed the locks on the house.

Curly has few if any friends now, as his behavior has alienated everyone.  He's staying with someone associated with a Pentecostal church.  We left clothes on the front porch, which he's retrieved.  His medicine is still sitting on the porch.  I've spoken to folks at the church and let them know all that is going on with Curly.  They're letting him stay for a couple of days to cool off, but they're telling him he must go home and "submit" to his parents. 

I didn't sleep much Thursday night. 

But I am turning this over.  It is out of my hands.  I am a good parent and I've done what I could for him.  I will help Curly, but I will no longer be abused by him.

I pray that Curly finds the strength to do the right thing and get help.

And I slept long and well last night.  I am hopeful.  After all, it is spring, the time when the world is renewed.  Anything is possible.