Wednesday, November 16, 2022

A Christmas story. And yes, this really happened.

On Christmas of about 1990, my then husband and I were celebrating at our home with our 2 year old, just the three of us. I was handed a present from my MIL and started opening it. 

Now my MIL is petite, trim and athletic, and I am quite chunky and a klutz. My MIL had, um, "endeared" herself to me in an early meeting with her when she asked me helpfully (in front of all her friends and family) oh when was I planning to have breast reduction surgery, hmm? 

My mouth hung open for a bit as this was something I had never contemplated. 

Diplomacy and subtlety were not my MIL's virtues. She had permanent foot in mouth disease. 

Anyhow, I opened up this heavy package and found it contained an unbelievably horrid gift. It was Miss Piggy scales - the kind you weigh yourself with. It was pink and purple and plasticky and Miss Piggy's eyes closed when you stepped on her face, so as not to look up your skirt.
Dear lord in heaven, it was awful. 

I was appalled. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say when this woman was making an obvious comment on my weight in such a tasteless manner. My husband roared. 

I did not acknowledge the present, and Miss Piggy was put into the attic. I moved on. 

But wait - there's more! 

Years later I brought up Miss Piggy to a coworker when my company was having a White Elephant present game at Christmas. I thought she'd be perfect! So I got Miss Piggy out of the attic. 

"I wonder if Miss Piggy is in good shape?" thought I. The box had not been opened by me on that long ago Christmas, as I was consumed by the horror of the original present opening.
So I opened the box up and safe and sound, out slid Miss Piggy... 

Along with birthday cards addressed to my MIL. 

Yes, dear reader, she had REGIFTED Miss Piggy to me! 

My MIL was cheap and had regifted items before, but this was so brazen it made the story worthwhile! 


Miss Piggy went on to find a home with a hapless coworker. 

Sans the birthday cards. Those I just couldn't inflict on someone else. 



  1. OMG - that’s truly HILARIOUS. What a dreadful woman. I will be laughing all the way to the grocery store!!!!

  2. Oh goodness, I’m laughing but feel like I oughtn’t to be! Goodness, that really takes the cake.

  3. I thought I had good "Evil MIL" stories. And, you've beaten me! What a riot. That woman has more than foot-in-mouth. She also has actions-from-a-toilet!

  4. What a horrid present, It must be a thing years and years ago my fathers mother used to keep the present in a cupboard, and when she wanted to give a gift she would take something out, only one christmas she forgot herself not only did she re gift a present, it was still in the same wrapping paper and gave back to the person who gave it to her.

  5. Oh my! You've told the story so well that I'm laughing and horrified at the same time! You're a very talented writer!