Now my MIL is petite, trim and athletic, and I am quite chunky and a klutz. My MIL had, um, "endeared" herself to me in an early meeting with her when she asked me helpfully (in front of all her friends and family) oh when was I planning to have breast reduction surgery, hmm?
My mouth hung open for a bit as this was something I had never contemplated.
Diplomacy and subtlety were not my MIL's virtues. She had permanent foot in mouth disease.
Anyhow, I opened up this heavy package and found it contained an unbelievably horrid gift. It was Miss Piggy scales - the kind you weigh yourself with. It was pink and purple and plasticky and Miss Piggy's eyes closed when you stepped on her face, so as not to look up your skirt.
I was appalled. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say when this woman was making an obvious comment on my weight in such a tasteless manner. My husband roared.
I did not acknowledge the present, and Miss Piggy was put into the attic. I moved on.
But wait - there's more!
Years later I brought up Miss Piggy to a coworker when my company was having a White Elephant present game at Christmas. I thought she'd be perfect! So I got Miss Piggy out of the attic.
"I wonder if Miss Piggy is in good shape?" thought I. The box had not been opened by me on that long ago Christmas, as I was consumed by the horror of the original present opening.
Along with birthday cards addressed to my MIL.
Yes, dear reader, she had REGIFTED Miss Piggy to me!
My MIL was cheap and had regifted items before, but this was so brazen it made the story worthwhile!
Miss Piggy went on to find a home with a hapless coworker.
Sans the birthday cards. Those I just couldn't inflict on someone else.
HO HO HO!!!