Curly is gone

It's been a while since I have posted. Much has happened.

Some good. I'll tell about that later.

But mostly the worst kind of thing.

My son Curly is dead. 

You remember my Stooges - Larry, Curly, and Moe. Larry is almost 37 now. Moe is 28. 

And Curly didn't quite make it to his 33rd birthday.

He died at the end of March this year. 

If you'll recall, Curly was diagnosed with a mental illness when he was 13, very young. He had trouble dealing with the diagnosis of bipolar II and did not believe it. He eventually believed that he was simply depressed, and would take some meds for that. But he refused to take proper medication for bipolar II.

Curly in 3rd grade

 

Many people who are mentally ill and unsuccessfully medicated turn to some substance for self medication to soothe their minds. I’m not sure when Curly started doing this, but I know he was doing it over 10 years ago. I think it started with pain medication that was prescribed for some real issue, and then he got hooked. Oxycontin is not always readily available on the street, so his addiction morphed into heroin. He hid it for a long time. Eventually he became completely ensnared by that drug. 

Before modern medicine, people with mental illness were considered to be possessed by a demon – there is real truth in that. His family and I did everything we could to help him counteract these demons. Psychiatry, therapy, visits to mental institutions, financial support. Then he needed detox and rehab. At one point he was homeless. He really, really suffered from those demons. He went through 3 rounds of rehab. He needed more, but his insurance would only pay for 3 months at a time, and then he was on his own. It wasn’t enough.

But the demon that is heroin eventually came roaring back, and it was that demon that killed him. Curly died of an accidental drug overdose.

The night before he died, Curly called me (as he often did) and we had a long talk. I was frequently his confident. That night he talked about wanting a family of his own. “I think I’d be a good dad,” he told me. He talked about his faith and reading the Bible and how much prayer helped him. He talked about his job frustrations. He talked about his girlfriend, who was taking a break from the relationship as she sensed something (drugs) was going on. And we ended the conversation as we always did, by telling each other I love you.

I’m so glad we ended that way. It was a gift.

Now Curly is no longer suffering from those demons. He is no longer in pain. He is in the arms of Jesus.

I am ok. You don't expect to outlive your children, but I am one tough cookie.

I've had help. And I am grateful for the help.

And I am grateful for Curly. He was handsome and smart and fun and funny and talented - and he always loved his mama really hard. 

Curly and me

 

Going into a new chapter of my life

It's almost here.

After working in the IT world for over 40 years, I'm about to be retired!!!

WOO-HOO!!!!

(It's not quite here - my last day is January 17 2025. But it's pretty durn close.)

On my career:

I've never been one of those people who dug into the guts of PCs or messed in networks. I've always been working in software - VERY LARGE software systems. Mostly large finance systems for BIG companies, usually international ones. I learned a number of programming languages over the years, starting with COBOL and Assembly and IBM JCL to where I am now, writing some Oracle SQL along with HTML and other things specific to tools the company may use. I also got trained as an Oracle database administrator, though I never worked as one. 

These days while I can do all those things, I mostly work with my user community and do a lot of analysis into solving their needs with the tools we have in house. I've done some big presentations at major Oracle conferences on how we implemented and used software, did a big one in Las Vegas this past July. (I hate Las Vegas with a white hot hate. I never want to go back there again!)

I'm retiring as the most senior IT person in North America support the worldwide finance software for a division of a company that was once known as I've Been Moved. I gave them 6 months notice of my retirement date, saying I would train a new person. And guess what? They haven't started looking for someone yet! 

A number of my colleagues have been very kind and will obviously miss me. I'm GOOD at my job!

A work colleague, my favorite database administrator, sent me this:

Dear *******,

As we step into 2025, I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt New Year greetings to you. May this year bring you abundant joy, good health, and the fulfillment of your cherished dreams as you transition into a new and exciting chapter of your life.

Working with you has been a privilege and a deeply enriching experience. Your dedication, expertise, and kind spirit have left a lasting impression on all of us. Thank you for your unwavering commitment and the many invaluable contributions you've made.

As you retire this January, I hope you embrace this well-earned time with the same passion and grace you've shown throughout your career. Wishing you happiness and success in all your future endeavors!

With gratitude and warm wishes,

R****** K**********

I was very touched.

I hadn't planned to work in IT - I have a BA in one of the Fine Arts and have always done some sort of design work. But I fell into it, having taken Computer Programming in the early 80's when I lived briefly in Nashville TN. I'm good at math and logic.

It's supported me and my family well. There were occasional blips, mostly when there were big recessions or a global pandemic, but I've been pretty steadily employed. I kept my skill set up too, which maintained that employment.

I may do some contract work after I retire. Mostly to pay for travel - I want to travel in Europe and see other parts of America. But mostly I'll do things that suit me, like picking up some hobbies I used to do (guitar and pottery), learn to play bridge, do genealogy, sing in multiple groups, and volunteer a LOT. Plus seeing my boyfriend - yes I'm seeing someone regularly!

On the other news, Celia and Theo are still my companions at home. Celia is such a tiny girl! She and Theo get along very well.

Theo and Celia wanting attention as I work

Celia rests before the Christmas onslaught

A new member of my household

After the loss of my beloved Lucy, I waited a bit before making any changes. But Theo missed having a companion and was very needy. So I found him a little friend.

Isn't she cute?

Meet Celia. I found her on Pet Finder, a great place for finding a nice animal in need of a good home. She has very blue eyes and is a Siamese mix. She is TINY!

Her hair is longish and is filling out

The folks at the shelter claim she is about 18 months, but I think she's well under a year. She came to the shelter with a LARGE nursing kitten - I think she got pregnant in her first heat and is about 8-9 months. 

See the cute little belly!

She's very kittenish and jumps a lot on things, like my feet! And she flops over whenever you pet her, showing her belly.

Pals!

Theo hissed at first, but now they are friends! They touch noses and she head butts him in the chest (he's SO much bigger than she is!) and he will lick her. 

Celia enjoying the view

I'm glad she's here!

Tis the season

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from my place. Here's my funny little Christmas tree.

I've been cooking Christmas treats for friends and family. This is toffee - mmmmmm

And these are spiced roasted pecans. They are sweet, salty and spicy. People love them.

And meringe cookies with cereal and chocolate chips. Nummy

Finally - a view from my balcony. The sky being painted by the setting sun.

Blessings to all.... 

 

A farewell to a beloved companion

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to a companion of almost 10 years.

I had to put my Lucy down. She suddenly show signs of respiratory distress and it was found she had N stage cancer in her lungs and one lung had collapsed. I had no choice - I had to be merciful.

Lucy was such a good girl.

She was sweet and lovely, a joy to be with.

She never did anything wrong. Never tore things up, never got on the counters - ever.

She was so beautiful. I used to say Lucy was my decorator cat - she matched everything.

She could be funny. Here she is "helping" with my CPAP.

I got her the same day I got Theo. They are not siblings, but they were fostered together. Theo is sad.

She slept by my head every night.

She was my girl. And I will miss her.

New shuttles and some tatting

I'm back to tatting.

I'm still knitting, but I have been diverted into the tatting realm now.

And I bought some new custom shuttles! Woo-hoo!

I made two crosses for ministerial staff at my church. These are tatted in Lizbeth size 20 in the Mary Konior pattern Large Cross from Tatting With Visual Patterns. I love this pattern and I love this book.

You see one of my new shuttles - I bought this one on Etsy from NamiArt. She is in Poland but is Ukraini. I am happy to support someone from Ukraine - Slava Ukraini!

I love cats - this shuttle has a cat done in blue enamel on copper alloy. Tats well!

Another shuttle was bought from TheKnottedVine on Etsy. 

This shuttle is made of copper with a protective epoxy resin coating them. smooth and well balanced.

I liked this shuttle so much I bought 2 more from TheKnottedVine!

One is blue with a cat and the other is actually purplish - hard to tell, but it is. The top one is called Cool Cat, the bottom one is called The Miss Violet. They are both lovely to work with and tat very well.

I am well - just very very busy both with work and personal things. But I'm well and happy!

Knitting presents

I have some friends from a former workplace who are getting married. They are lovely people and as they are older, they don't need a lot of things that most newlyweds need. So I decided to make them some dish clothes.

I asked them about colors, and they chose black and white.

Here is what I made for them:

This is a set of 6 dish clothes, two in each color. These are all in Lily Sugar & Cream and knitted in a pattern I referenced here.  

I hope they like them. I think this is a nice wedding gift. Personal without being TOO personal. And made with love!

Also - I recently met up with some members of my college class (I'm on the reunion committee) and I brought some dish clothes for them to chose from. They were all delighted with their gifts!

Here are some of the ones I brought - I've shown a number of the other ones.

I'm still knitting. I'm obsessed. And it helps keep me from eating!

More scrappy knitting....

I liked the scrappy knitting so much that I made more.

Behold:

A Sunset-on-Water dishcloth!

I really like how this one came out. Obviously I'm doing the same basic dish cloth pattern, but it's the color that makes a difference!

Speaking of the same pattern...

These three dish clothes are part of a set I'm making for a wedding gift. I'm working on the other black one, then on to 2 white ones. All made in Lily Sugar & Cream. I think it will be a nice gift, don't you?

Best of luck to those going to Palmetto Tat Days the weekend - I hope to be there again next year!

Some scrappy knitting

I'm still on a roll with knitting. Knitting cotton washcloths.

As I've been doing so much of this, I have a lot of small balls of the tail ends of various colors. So I decided to make good use of those leftovers.

Hence Scrappy Knitting!

Behold:

I made this one with more solids than variegated yarns. I like these! 

FYI - I experimented with several yarn joins before using a Russian Join. Lily Sugar & Cream is thicker than some yarn, and I didn't want to find a knot. So the Russian Join seemed best to me. 

Here's a pic with another scrappy washcloth.

My sons want some of these, so they must be cute.

What do you think?

I've been knitting

I've been keeping my fingers busy with a bit of knitting. Nothing fancy, just some wash cloths.

Full disclosure - during the pandemic, knitting kept me sane. I made many many dish cloths and gave almost all of them away.

I don't feel crazed right now, but knitting is productive in the evening and it keeps me from nibbling on food that I shouldn't eat!

These have all been given away. The patterns are (from top left, clockwise) Easy As Pie Dishcloth, An Almost Lost Washcloth, and the classic square diagonally knit cloth. 

I made another diagonal square in blue and promptly gave it away.

And then I knit two that I might keep. These are the Spa Washcloth pattern.

I just started on another! I have a ton of Lily Sugar & Cream cotton yarn!